Some points

Here is a partial list of things to note:

• If you are lucky and have children, especially adult children, then you can lean on them a bit, but remember they are grieving too.  My husband was the step dad, but he was the one that had been there.  You get caught up in your grief and healing and sometimes things are said or handled incorrectly at the time.  But time does heal and I can't imagine the strength that I got from my three kids.  I leaned heavily on my youngest as she was the one at home with me.  I can't imagine how even more awful it would have been without her there for me. Don't get me wrong, there were rough times and I think the older siblings were ready to disconnect their phones so they wouldn't have to talk to us, but things are good again and I thank them in my heart daily for being there for me.
• If you cannot get a death certificate (due to the coroner not ready to release the cause of death) then ask for a letter from the coroner stating the time and date of death.  Not going to do much good to take care of things at the bank, but will help you get some things moving along. You need something in writing from someone of power.  I wonder now, who would lie and say there spouse was dead?
• You do not have to put an obituary in to the paper.  It is up to you.  I chose not to place one.
• Confirm when you are ready that the funeral home might have already added in a basic cost of a headstone, and when you are ready to order it they might have already collected the cost at the time of burial.  I didn't know that, but was glad I contacted them for a place to have one made otherwise I wouldn't have known that.  I have paperwork from the funeral but filed it away otherwise I would have known this.
• If you live in a community property state make note - even if the credit card was never in your name or used by you, they can put the charge off on your credit report.  Example: I sent the letter of death from the coroner to Bank Card A & B, they told me since it was never mine they would close the account.  Then I find out that my credit score has dropped nearly 200 points due to a charge off being posted on my credit report.  Turns out it shouldn't have been put on and they will take it off after I send a letter to each of the credit reporting agencies, and the removal can take 90-120 days.  So keep an eye on your credit scores.
• Grief counseling might be good for some but I went to one, felt like I was throwing my money away.  I decided to do something that we had planned for some time and finish a remodel that was never started.  I spent less then I would of for counseling and now have a great addition to our home.
• Your friends do want to do something for you but don't know really what you want done.  Don't push them away, accept whatever they offer.  A cup of coffee, a visit, a phone call.  It is so easy to say you are fine and need nothing. You need them. 
• Crying. It happens and don't apologize for the tears.  Let them come.  It washes the soul.