The Suddeness

After my husband died suddenly I was hit daily by things I couldn't foresee or knew could happen. I hope this helps even one person get stable quicker than I did.

Monday, January 31, 2011

No rest for the living

Phones calls were made, people calling.  Family members rushed home.  The weekend was a deep dark cloud to me.  Monday morning someone drove me to the cemetery and my beloved husband was buried.  I sat at my house as people came by, but I really can't remember much about that part.  What I do remember is the sudden phone calls I received telling me that I would need help in the business with legal issues that I would not be able to properly deal with.  Come on, I just buried my husband, give me a second to breathe.  No way.  Let's throw it on me right away. Ask for a face to face meeting first thing on Tuesday.  Get calls that I can't even repeat as I am so shocked even months later about.

Okay, I am a pretty organized person, great with details.  So, I figure find a group and get some support, otherwise I would crawl into bed into a fetal position and be no good to anyone. So, I started by asking others, religious people, hospital, funeral home, etc., "where can I find a support group?".  Well, I found some myself by "googling" it.  One was very religious, not for me, I couldn't take G-d wanted him for something better, I needed him. I loved him.  What was better?  Then the next group pretty much threw me the curve ball.  Me: Hi, I am a new widow and I'm looking for a group to help me get through this.  Lady on Phone: Of course, we are a great group to help you.  Me: Thank heavens. I'm so lost I need someone to help guide me.  Lady on Phone: How long have you been a widow?  Me: One week.  Lady on Phone: Oh no, I have been a widow for 10 years and have just begun healing myself.  Call us when it has been at least 6 months or longer.  Me: Thank you. 

Are you kidding?  I do not want to feel like this in 10 years!  I have my life to live, life is too short.  I have plans and dreams and wishes.  I am not ready to be an old widow women.  Okay, need to get up and find my plan B. 

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