Phones calls were made, people calling. Family members rushed home. The weekend was a deep dark cloud to me. Monday morning someone drove me to the cemetery and my beloved husband was buried. I sat at my house as people came by, but I really can't remember much about that part. What I do remember is the sudden phone calls I received telling me that I would need help in the business with legal issues that I would not be able to properly deal with. Come on, I just buried my husband, give me a second to breathe. No way. Let's throw it on me right away. Ask for a face to face meeting first thing on Tuesday. Get calls that I can't even repeat as I am so shocked even months later about.
Okay, I am a pretty organized person, great with details. So, I figure find a group and get some support, otherwise I would crawl into bed into a fetal position and be no good to anyone. So, I started by asking others, religious people, hospital, funeral home, etc., "where can I find a support group?". Well, I found some myself by "googling" it. One was very religious, not for me, I couldn't take G-d wanted him for something better, I needed him. I loved him. What was better? Then the next group pretty much threw me the curve ball. Me: Hi, I am a new widow and I'm looking for a group to help me get through this. Lady on Phone: Of course, we are a great group to help you. Me: Thank heavens. I'm so lost I need someone to help guide me. Lady on Phone: How long have you been a widow? Me: One week. Lady on Phone: Oh no, I have been a widow for 10 years and have just begun healing myself. Call us when it has been at least 6 months or longer. Me: Thank you.
Are you kidding? I do not want to feel like this in 10 years! I have my life to live, life is too short. I have plans and dreams and wishes. I am not ready to be an old widow women. Okay, need to get up and find my plan B.
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