It is nearly a year since Spencer has died. My life has been an ocean voyage. Calm seas and rough seas. Sometimes I feel confident in my sea legs and other times I wish I could fling myself overboard and stop the hurt. I have finally in this 11th month found some answers, one important one is make new dreams for myself to take the place of those we had. Mostly I have truly found out that he will always be a part of my soul, and be the one I loved truly deeply, but, and this is a big BUT, I will move on. I will laugh, smile and love again. I want him to reappear and tell me I was sick and these were all nightmares, but enough of fairy tales. It happened, he's gone, I can't or will not ever forget him. I will move on, make new plans, make new memories, but forever keep not locked away but wear it proudly on my chest the love he gave me, the friend he was, the special man who touched my life and that I loved unconditionally.
Loving again will never replace him, loving again will just open my heart and take away some of the void that was left inside me. He would want me to smile and be happy. He always made me feel like a princess, by his care and love, so now I will still say time does not heal, but time does help you make it though the day a bit easier.
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