A bit clearer

Some days everything appears foggy, confusing, never-to-see-a-light type of day.  Last evening I went and did girl stuff with a friend.  Taking a walk along the lake, talking, shopping, and ending with dinner.  I was holding many things in for a long time as I hadn't had a chance to share my feelings for quite a bit of time that it was like a giant weight off me when I had a chance just to say it out loud and some one listened without judgment.  I wasn't really looking for answers or something deep to think about.  I have spent so many hours already thinking that I could just stop for even a second and see the entire "play" in my mind over and over again. What I needed and what I received was one of those priceless gifts of understanding and a smile.  Thank you so much.  Some things are truly priceless. 

Time goes by but......

It has been 10 months, sometimes, it feels only like 10 hours, other times 10 years.  People try and move on.  We try to put on a brave face and act like we are healing.  Not happening for me yet.  Everything is still so painful.  I can't stop thinking how safe and sure of my future I had been.  Was it a lie?  Was it nothing but pipe dreams?  Who knows.  I do know I do not want to think about all my plans not happening.  I have set a goal of just one or two things at a time.  Right now, it's passing a state exam for work.  Then I will think further out afterwords.  One step at a time.  Really quite true.